She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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