Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was born a porn star she said
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize