I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
