Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
