i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
