He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
