She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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