Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
