it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
