I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
