i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
