so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
