Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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