im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
