are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize