You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
