If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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