you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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