Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
