she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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