This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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