it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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