A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
vagina is talking i cant
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
