How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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