so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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