You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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