Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
