dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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