I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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