I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
