the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm too high and old for this...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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