ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
