He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
