Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
