I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
