I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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