You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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