Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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