i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
