Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hippo gnu deer
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize