You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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