when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize