You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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