If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
