I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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