babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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