ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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