I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
