haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
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coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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