and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
