I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
