If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
