Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
How's work?
Spinning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
