Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
