I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
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