I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
