Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize