nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
